I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
