Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
do nipples grow back?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
