somebody snuck up and got me drunk
home. puking in laundry basket.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize