Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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