You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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