So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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