Buhtt sex?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
