so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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