pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
