If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize