Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
