The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize