Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
