just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
