He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
where are my pants?
in the oven.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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