He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
