I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
