Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
