So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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