If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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