I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize