Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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