Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
