Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
