Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
