its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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