She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize