When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Randomize
