@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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