I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
