cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
