dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
