Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
