its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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