roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
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