We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize