Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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