Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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