we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
