franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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