first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
