I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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