in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Randomize
