Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
