trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
