I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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