thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
