didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
