garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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