it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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