Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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