I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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