Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
