come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
