He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
