So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
do herpes really smell.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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