u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
