last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
