Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
