at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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